Sunday, July 26, 2009

Magicians Should be Hated, but We Love Them.

For many years people have been amazed and in awe at the inspiring and illusive magic tricks magicians perform before us. I'm not talking Harry Potter's style, where the magician (or in this case wizard) waves a wand and zaps someone he loathes; but rather, a live-action magician who fools, tricks, and even mocks his audience through fantastic illusion, hypnosis, or even redefining the durability of a human being. Yet, we still let them entertain us. Humans are inquisitive creatures who constantly thirst for knowledge, and long to remove the curtain from their eyes which blinds them from the truth. What order of man steps beyond their post, to maintain the dark curtain of ignorance over his own race; simply to define himself superior? Magicians. "A magician never, reveals their secret," what a crock. Everyone wants to know how it's done out of curiosity - this is the inquisitive nature of human beings - but the magician simply smiles and performs another illusion to keep you interested, or maybe even to mock you. But at the same time I must give some magicians the thumbs up, because some tricks are truly magical. David Copperfield's Death of Saw illusion was absolutely bone chilling. Don't believe me? Then just watch it:




The fact it appeared something went wrong as he was unable to escape being sliced in half, and then it turned out to simply be his routine, is the absolute awe-inspiring magic all magicians have the obligation to perform.

However, there are magicians who perform tricks, that waste our time and even money as we watch pure and utter nonsense. Take street magician David Blaine for instance. Mediocre card tricks and attempted illusions of floating by camera trickery. It doesn't end there, he also claims to be an endurance artist with his "feats of wonder," which are simply pathetic attempts for attention a 5 year old can do by throwing a tantrum. His "tricks" usually consist of being in one place, for a supposed long time... amazing isn't it? For example, being buried in a box 6 feet by 2 feet for one week. Well the normal man could say he could do this, so Mr.Blaine takes it one step farther. He decides not to eat at all, for the 7 days, furthermore he only consumes 2-3 tablespoons of water each day. Now, I'm no doctor, but I'm aware the average body burns 60 calories an hour. Sixty calories burnt for 168 hours of no intake is 10 080 calories. Now, burning 10 080 calories without any calorie intake essentially turns the body into a stick. Not only no food, but 2-3 tablespoons a day? Can you say dehydration? The normal human body, in proper conditions (e.g. room temperature), loses 2.5L of water daily (through sweat, urine, and exhaling water vapour). Assuming Blaine loses 2.5L a day (also assuming it's linear), means he lost approximately 38.5lbs of water. Now for the amazing part, after his trick he comes out, the exact same, no muscle degeneration or weight loss. That was one of his more unbelievable stunts, but the one that takes the cake for total lame style time wasters: David Blaine hanging upside down while people watch you, taking breaks for stretching, vitals, food, and urination, of course. All of his tricks seem like utter nonsense; it would be more entertaining if someone sawed him in half, and didn't put him back together.

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